I swear, I must be slippin'.
I used to be The Queen of The Dodge And Duck.
When somebody would say "See ya later", you would say, under your breath, "Not if I see you first".
I didn't see him first. I should have, but wasn't payin' attention, and there he was, right in front of me.
An old boyfriend, who wanted to huuuuug. Oh yes, I want someone to catch me in a clench with one of the town drunks. I can really pick 'em.
He's harmless but I have ZERO desire to walk down Memory Lane. It wasn't that much fun the first time. He was on his beer run for the weekend, and I got the Hell out of the store when he turned his back.
I wasn't fast. I was SUDDEN.
When I told T-Bird about it at lunch he told me to go bathe.
Standing in the grocery store checkout line one afternoon, I spotted two old biddies that I didn't want to talk to. I knew the spiel, and just didn't want to hear it because they were gonna piss me off.
When the cashier turned to give me my total, I wasn't there. I had squatted down in the line so I wouldn't be spotted. The cashier and everyone in line behind me thought that was funny as all-get-out. The laughter almost gave me away.
While I was going thru my divorce, I ran into my soon-to-be-ex-sister-in-law. They had come from out of town for a visit, and my daddy had lied to this chick for me once already.
I was at Wally World riffling thru the shirts on one of those round clothes racks. I had my head down, checking sizes and prices when another woman walked up to the opposite side of the rack.
I lifted my eyes just enough to see who it was and my blood ran cold. We were three feet apart. If I cut and run, I'm caught. If I have to talk to her it will end badly.
I just continued to browse with my head down, and gradually drifted off across the department.
Then, deciding that I didn't need anything that bad, I left the store. She never knew I was there.
Stealth! Ninja-style stuff! Now you see me, now you don't! The Incredible Vanishing Woman!
I have walked right past co-workers and blood family, and they never knew I was around.
I got caught in front of the video store once by a guy I knew thirty years ago.
I was wrapping the last few feet of log chain around a grandchild in her car seat----she could give Houdini a run for the money----when I heard a man ask if he knew me.
The answer is ALWAYS "NO".
But when he names your parents and sisters the jig is up.
I couldn't deny that I knew him, and it took some doing to convince him that we were NOT going on a damned dinner date because my husband would have objections. I do give him credit for a good try.
I also took mental notes about the truck he was driving.
"See ya later!"
Sure you will, Sport, sure you will...........