"When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained."---Mark Twain

Saturday, January 4, 2014

A Glitter Hater

Yesterday, on January the third, I found gold glitter on an envelope I was stamping.

Glitter.       Gold glitter.   

I hate glitter.     And by that, I mean I really, really, reallyreallyreally HATE glitter.

Glitter starts coming thru the office door a week or so before Christmas.    It is stuck to about half of the cards and gifts and goody bags that we are blessed with from patients and other offices that we work with.

It just doesn't STAY stuck on the gift/card/whatever.

Glitter travels.      And it will travel from one end of the office to the other, and it will be EVERYWHERE. 

Stuck in the carpet.    Stuck on lab jackets.   Clinging to paperwork and charts.   Countertops.     Patient chairs and BOTH restrooms.     And all of us who work there.   

If you hold your head at just the right angle and the light is right, the hallway looks like Dorothys' Yellow Brick Road.

Guess who cleans THAT up.

When the receptionist showed me Bossladys' Christmas card---encrusted with a fine, gold glitter---I had to admit that it was a beautiful card........with my hands clasped behind my back so that I didn't bitch-slap her out of her chair.

I tell ya, I can't catch a break.

We have a big table where we keep goodies and such and it was covered with presents and baked delights and candy from just after Thanksgiving until we closed for the holiday.

I cleaned the office On December 23rd when we shut down.   

All the good stuff had been cleaned out and the table was covered in crumbs, sprinkles, candy bits, chopped nuts,................and glitter.

That stuff was all over the place.

It looked like someone had beat the livin' crap out of Tinkerbell.

I swear I cleaned that building and every surface in it, but after a thorough vaccuming, there it was.....winking at me from the just-vacc'd carpet.    I threw up my hands and left.

Did I mention that I hate glitter?

I cleaned up more on December 29th.    I had hoped that it was all gone.   

It wasn't gone.    My nemesis, the receptionist, was gathering the Christmas cards on JANUARY THE SECOND and yes, there was more of the hated substance floating around her desk.

She is hereby found GUILTY of aiding and abetting.

I have cleaned that place TWICE but it's still there.

And it's mocking me.


  1. No to fond of it myself. It tends to get around the eye eventually.

  2. Yup, Suthern. Glitter in the eye will put you in a world of hurt!

    You could see the start of The New Year with an eye bandaged shut and a bill for medical services in the mailbox. Party Over.

  3. I actually think glitter reproduces. You begin with a few pieces here and there and the next day, it's all over the place.

    1. Sioux! You are correct, My Dear! Glitter and wire hangers both!

      Can anyone explain why cash money does NOT?