"When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained."---Mark Twain

Friday, July 26, 2013

County Landin' Beatdown

I didn't recognize Alex at first.    I had to read the name on his shirt pocket for confirmation.

If I found a piece of meat in the fridge that looked like that mug, I'd throw it out.

His face was swollen and bruised, his lip was split in spots, and there was skin missing here and there on his forehead and cheeks.   Deep scratches and what looked like gouges.

I was glad his eyes were partly shut due to swelling, because what I could see of the eyeballs was awful; they were red.......and yellow.......some sort of orange-y color.    But mostly RED.   

I thought it was a motorcycle accident, or maybe an accident at work.   

Alex is an R.R.S.O.B., so it could have been anything.   Or anyone.

What is an R.R.SO.B.?    Glad you asked.

The R.R. stands for round revolving.    Hold a ball with both hands.  A round one, not a football. 
Turn the ball, spin the ball---doesn't matter.   It looks pretty much the same no matter which way you turn it.
No matter which way you turn this man or which side you look at, he is an S.O.B., hence: Round Revolving Son Of A Bitch.

He was my husband's supervisor at work.    He would push his authority as far as he dared on the job.  

On the job he was safe.    Outside the plant gates he was not.    His crew of carknockers had made their feelings in regard to him very clear.

Off the job?     Off the job, he was drunk.    Sober just long enough to get his job done and get home for the day.

The river landing is a gathering place on weekends and holidays and it can be PARTYPARTYPARTY 'til you puke.    Lots of teenagers, fishermen, hunters, and a few ne'er-do-wells.

Our subject has a cabin just down the road from the ramp.     He can walk down to the landing and crawl back home after the party.

On the evening in question there is a large gathering of his friends down at the landing having a great time.    There is also a group of teenaged boys.

For some reason, and Alex probably doesn't even know what that is, he targeted a scrawny-looking kid and set out to make the kids' night a living Hell.Every time he caught sight of the boy he hurled insults and taunts.    He threatened to whip the boys' ass a couple of times.

He verbally tortured the young man all afternoon.   And his friends egged him on and had a good time watchin' it.

Now, I don't know why the teens did not leave.   I would have.    They had to know that they were dealing with grown drunks and things were going to get out of hand.   

The Ignorance Of Youth, maybe?

He got in the kids' face one last time, and he faked a lunge in his direction.

He was jus' a li'l bit toooooo close..............

Alex has miscalculated.    Badly.

He is in his early forties.     This boy is less than half his age.

Alex has spent his adult years in dissipation.     The boy is still in school; he hasn't had time to wreck his health. 

Alex is flat-out drunk.     The kid is clear-headed.

Alex really didn't want to fight.    The kid feels like he has no choice.  

The boy wraps around Alex like a wet sheet.

They hit the dirt.    There are just a few punches, and the boy starts flippin' Alex around on the ground, looking for a hold.

Alex's buds are having a good laugh because they don't realize what is going to happen.    When they figure it out, it is almost too damned late.

Nobody else will step in because they've watched this unfold and want to see Alex get what he has comin' to him.  

Alex is screaming for help.    Upon closer inspection it is discovered that this boy is trying to work his fingers behind Alex's eyeballs for quick---and brutal---removal.   

That explains why Alex's eyes looked like they did, and it explained those gouges.

If your enemy cannot see, you've got him where you want him.   

I don't think that the boys' wrestling coach taught him that.  

Oh yeah, he was one of the top champion wrestlers at the high school.    SURPRISE!

The kid is so freaked, and so intent on permanently disabling his enemy, that he has achieved Tunnel Vision.   They cannot get him off of Alex.   They had to peel his hands off of Alexs' face finger by finger, and get Alex out of the wrestling hold that had been expertly applied.

They drug the silly shit back to his cabin, and patched him up as best they could.

The Sheriff will not be called because Dumbass has "attacked" a minor and there are witnesses.    Witnesses who will be proud to testify.

After some sober reflection, ice, and Tylenol, Alex went back to the landing.   He found the boy and apologized, and congratulated him on one Hell of a fight.   Even told him he was justified in stompin' his ass.

Alex has Seen The Light.  It was blurry for a day or three, but he's finally seen it.


  1. Good for Alex, I guess. Unfortunately in past years I have had similar issues as the boy in question. When you are as tall as I am ignorant--shorter--folk often feel threatened.

    I have never been a fighter so I can't even begin to say I won all those contests forced upon me, but those guys did pay a price.

    1. I was the visual of the old saying: "You're ugly and your Mama dresses you funny." I was, and she did, so I was on the receiving end more than once, mostly verbal abuse.

      My youngest daughter was bullied for almost all of high school. She was kinda forced into a fight---the other girl actually put her hands on her---and three years of suppressed rage exploded. Nobody bothered her after that.

  2. well his ass had it coming! LOL

    1. Bella, I believe that if you work for it, if you beg for it, you should have it. Even if it means having your ass handed to you! He always was an ass, and he can be thankful that the kid got him before my husband and the rest of his crew could.