The Concert

Several months ago, my husband came home and announced that I had to call the kids and tell 'em that Mama/Daddy/Grandma/Grandpa were gonna be off the clock and unavailable for any and all emergencies.    And this was non-negotiable.

I'm a home-body (translated: Stick-In-The-Mud) and usually I cannot be blasted out of the house, but:

WE WERE GOING TO THE MOTHER'S FINEST CONCERT!!!

I hadn't been to a concert since I saw KISS in Lakeland, Florida back in the late 70's.    So, yeah, I was chompin' at the bit to go.

We were going with friends.    Mainly because only one of us had a vehicle that we could trust to make the trip.    But, the more the merrier!

We were feelin' pretty "merry" by the time our buddies picked us up.

T-Bird and I got the back seat, and our companions, Jerry and Zach, took their positions in the front as Pilot and Bombardier.    And we were off........    In more ways than one.

It was almost dark and we were zipping down a long stretch of road in the middle of Nowhere, Georgia.

I saw the deer.     T-Bird saw the deer.    Nobody else saw the deer, which was odd because it was standing on the shoulder of the road lookin' at us.

Just because a deer is making eye-contact, that is no reason to assume that the silly thing won't jump in front of your car.    They do it all the time.    That whole Vehicle vs. Deer thing escapes them somehow.

We were screaming "DEER! DEER!" and bracing for impact, but thankfully, Bambi stayed put.

"What deer?"     Indeed.   Zach could have slapped her on the ass, she was so close.

"It was standing on the edge of the road!     How in Hell did you miss seeing that?     She was as big as a cow!"    Valid question.

"I better clean the windshield."

Washer fluid and wipers removed very little grime.    A damp finger revealed that the dirt was actually on the INSIDE.

I double-checked my seatbelt and slid further down in the seat so that I couldn't see anything else.    Jus' didn't want to.    The "merry" was wearing off.

Arriving at the venue, we found a parking spot about half a mile from the gate in a huge, uneven field roped off for parking.    I am night-blind to a degree and had a little trouble navigating over the rough ground and stepping over ropes on the hike to the gate.

Making it to the ticket line was a feat in and of it's self.    It was moving briskly and within a couple of minutes we were at the ticket booth.

There was a young man taking up the money, and in my younger days I would have been rather attracted to his type.

His hair was very close-cropped, and he had eyes like obsidian.    They actually glittered.    A black muscle shirt with muscles on top of muscles, and black jeans.    He had a Bad Boy look and he was workin' it.

He narrowed his eyes and looked at T-Bird.

"Don't I know you?"   He sounded menacing as Hell.    Looked it, too.

My husband took a defensive stance and tone and replied that he didn't know if the kid knew him or not.    I thought to myself that this didn't look good, but there were four of us and just one of him.    WE had back-up.

"Are you from F_________?"    Yes we are, but Hubby says: "Maybe."    He's lookin' at the kid with HIS eyes narrowed.    He is tensed from head to toe (I know when he's wound tight as a banjo string because it's usually due to something I did).

Okaaaaay.............now it's a bit more intense, but we have back-up.........

The kid has one more question: "Is your name T_____?"   Yup, that's him.   Whatever IT is, it's on now.    T-Bird leans over to get a good look at the boy's face and I thought he was going to put his fist in it.  

I turned around to see that our back-up had indeed BACKED UP.   And they were STILL backing up.  

When my husband and the kid lunged at each other through the ticket window I knew that the only one left to lend a fist was ME.    Lookin' pretty bad for ol' T-Bird..................

BIG BRO' HUGS AND BACK SLAPPIN"!    Lots of "How the Hell are ya?" and "How's your mama an' them?"   Some "I ain't seen you in YEARS!"    And "Damn it's been a long time!"

What the ...?   As long as it isn't a fight, I'm good.     I was even better when he let me and T. in for free.

The reunion was over and we were walking to the concert stage when our Faithful Friends---jury is still out---caught up to us.

"Man, I didn't know what was going on back there!    I thought y'all was fixin' to tie up!"

"Hell no!   I used to change his diapers!"    Then he told me how that boy's parents had been friends of his for.........well, forever.

He told me later that he thought he was fixin' to have to fight too, and was tryin' to remember if he'd pissed off this kid at some point in the past.   

If you knew T-Bird, you'd know how he could piss someone off and forget he'd done it.    It's a long list and hard to keep up with.

Someone told me once that when Mother's Finest first came out they were considered "too black for the whites and too white for the blacks".

Some people are just too stupid, and that's too bad; they missed some good rock-n-roll.

Mother's Finest never fails, and they had all of us singin' and dancin' and the time rolled back for a while.

Kudos to Mother's Finest for that because the majority of their audience was in their sixties and seventies.    And us youngun's in our fifties.    Lots of canes, walkers, and motorized scooter/wheelchair rigs.     And some of those I swear should have been D.U.I..

All Granny needs is a red Solo cup filled with ice and her libation of choice, some hip-breakin' rock-n-roll, a fresh charge on her Rascal, and there ya go!

You CAN dance and hold on to a walker!  I've seen it done!    I took notes!

It takes real talent to get some of us moving like that.

We finally fell into bed well after midnight, and it had been one helluva night.   We'd had more fun than we had had in a long time----we don't get out much---and I was glad we went. 

When we got the chance to see Molly Hatchet, we jumped for it.   


We should not have.